Robbing the food bank but leaving a tip

Somethings gotta be done about my wallet weight. When did celery become $3? There's not even calories in it, it has negative calories because of how much you have to chew it. But my bloody mary's have been sad without them. Celery would be a healthy midnight snack if chewing it didn't wake up the entire apartment complex. I could really go for a celery stick and some PB or ranch right now,  but ice cream is much quiter.

So, maybe I won't feel so bad about taking charity from the food bank, if I steal it, and then leave a tip. The true capitalist way, steal and tip, nothing for free. Be weary of anything too simple, logical or kind. Steal the shit that was free to start with, then toss a fiver out the window as you peel out.

The concept, entity and practical existence of pride boggles my mind. Pride, for some reason, non-liminal to me, gets plenty of good press, but ain't it just stubborness? Ain't pride just the perfect reason for someone to do something illogical or selfish and say, well at least I have pride? Pride seems to fuck over others in an attempt to resist personal change, growth, and difficulty. I've got no qualms with viewing pride as just anti-humility and outdated. 

Google search "Scarfing Celery"

The Raver Tip ed. 1

The Raver Tip wants to exist in a non-digital world. However, to accomodate the joy of spreading wisdom/ foolishness a redacted version of edition 1 lay here before your sweet raver pupils. What did we take out? Curses, punchlines, passive verbs, incrimination all failed our AI’s protocol. So, the only way to get the real thing would be to find me at a rave or go ahead and purchase a mail subscription. The Tip has grown to 27 editions, and it took 40 months to put this online. So at a linear rate,you will always be 3 years behind. So grab the real thing (not available at stores; only bars, clubs, raves, campouts and in your mailbox).

Magic Cards: Don’t Do It

Warm off the plenum. Here’s more bonus material.