Robbing the food bank but leaving a tip

Somethings gotta be done about my wallet weight. When did celery become $3? There's not even calories in it, it has negative calories because of how much you have to chew it. But my bloody mary's have been sad without them. Celery would be a healthy midnight snack if chewing it didn't wake up the entire apartment complex. I could really go for a celery stick and some PB or ranch right now,  but ice cream is much quiter.

So, maybe I won't feel so bad about taking charity from the food bank, if I steal it, and then leave a tip. The true capitalist way, steal and tip, nothing for free. Be weary of anything too simple, logical or kind. Steal the shit that was free to start with, then toss a fiver out the window as you peel out.

The concept, entity and practical existence of pride boggles my mind. Pride, for some reason, non-liminal to me, gets plenty of good press, but ain't it just stubborness? Ain't pride just the perfect reason for someone to do something illogical or selfish and say, well at least I have pride? Pride seems to fuck over others in an attempt to resist personal change, growth, and difficulty. I've got no qualms with viewing pride as just anti-humility and outdated. 

Google search "Scarfing Celery"

Edits to Edition 48, cuz typewriter too damn loud for the hour.

ORIGINAL: "..., the stronaut puts on quotation cap-photographer" THIS MAKES NO SENSE, boy was I extra.

EDITED: the stronaut puts on his ass sass backwards and braves the unknown while wetting thyself a wittle. 😎

Raver Tip #204: 

Stayin’ Fuckin’ saf’ Day 311

It’s almost my second quarantine birthday. Unfortunately I have done nothing fun with my 33rd year. Well that’s not true. Sorry to lie to you. I usually admit it right after I fib, or feel guilt unbearable.

The girl model of frog and i slept in a Durango SLT in Pismo, then got a hotel night two and I watched silent films when she passed out.

It was a fun trip, 2 days, avoiding the maskless n cops and LA “people.”

I went to Tahoe and sledded backwards down a hill nearly permanently damaging my tailbone.

I got into VR.

I’m doin damn well comparatively.

Here’s to the last 9 weeks of year 33! Cheers! To partial sobriety and zorging out hard core, norm core and soft core.

Xo

Love you,

The Raver Tip Guy

The Ring

Hang with me here. Thank you for reading this far. What if the ring is a well that starts from the clouds and either goes up to the moon or down to the earth and that’s where that creepy lady crawls from.

Publishing and Distribution Night

A little too much fun made for slow progress.

Choose Your Zorg

this Zorg says “i’m refined” not fine.

this Zorg is dreaming about Ninentendo Portal.

this Zorg’s fire went out so it had to reignite.

My Schedule 1:0O a.m. to 1:30 a.m.

Wrote up this monologue on how I could just decote myself to doing beneficial things to my life for one minute a fay, and then I thought, ehy not do 30 things a day and then, ehy jot 30 thjngs in a roe.. the dynamic non- static quality of the experience will become the norm and it will be easy to shift. So here’s the list of my schedule. I’m conjecturing that it will be tiresome to switch so oftne and maybe next time i will try 15 things for two minutes each.

But first I’m going to have half a cigarette which is going to taken an eternity according to my new schedule four or five lifetimes, careers focuses. How wasteful!o

And here was the initial thought experiment, if you will, or whatever. Definitely repeated some of what is written above. 

Will update after this smoke and my busy schedule for the evening.. may fall asleep midway through, or maybe see you in a bit! Zornk.